Self-Care Houston, Episode 11: In this solo podcast, Jennifer Christian continues her discussion about anxiety from Episode 10, Anxiety Cycle. Jennifer discusses how building emotional regulation muscles and practicing shame resilience add to the self-care toolbox. Subscribe in iTunes.
Resources from this Episode:
- Kim Fredrickson, “Give Yourself a Break: Turning Your Inner Critic into a Compassionate Friend“
- Wonder Woman Learns Health Boundaries
- Writing Your Own Self-Care List
Brené Brown, “The Anatomy of Trust“
- Brené Brown interview with Oprah, “Shame Resilience“
- Kelly McGonigal’s TED talk: “Make Stress Your Friend“
- Breathing and Meditation App, Calm.com
- Emotional Freedom Tapping
- Savor Gratitude Blog
Self-Care Houston, Episode 10: In this solo podcast, Jennifer Christian shares her journey with anxiety/panic attacks. Jennifer talks about where anxiety comes from and how we get caught in anxiety cycles. Subscribe in iTunes.
- Kelly McGonigal TED Talk, “Make Stress Your Friend.”
- Mark Williams’ Mindfulness Meditations, “Finding Peace in a Frantic World.”
- Interview with Shannon McClain on Self-Compassion
- Interview with Elizabeth Haberer about Thrive Yoga for Anxiety
- Interview with Kim Fredrickson, Going Through Difficult Times
- The Anxiety Podcast with Tim J.P. Collins
- Not Another Anxiety Show with Kelly Walker
Self-Care Houston, Episode 9: Kathleen Straker joins Jennifer in a conversation about a process of decision making that brings joy to life in a way that aligns with your values. Kathleen works with students from around the globe through her learning strategies workshops and individual academic coaching sessions. She has also coauthored three books for students in the health sciences. You can find Kathleen at Vital Study Skills. Subscribe in iTunes.
Resources from this episode:
- Sleeping with Bread: Holding What Gives You Life, by
- Discernment: The Art of Choosing Well, by
- Podcast about simplifying your life with the exercise on life priorities by Monica Ricci. It begins on March 27, 2007 and ends on July 23rd.
- Study Without Stress: Mastering Medical Sciences (Surviving Medical School Series), by Kathleen Straker and Eugenia Kelman
- Six Steps to College Success: Learning Strategies for STEM Students, by Kathleen Straker and Eugenia Kelman
- Vital Skills, by Kathleen Straker and Eugenia Kelman
- Why Lawyers Should Embrace Compassion
- Finding Meaning in Medicine
Healthy relationships are built by cultivating trust. But, what does that mean? In her recent talk, “The Anatomy of Trust,” Dr. Brené Brown shares key components that are the hallmarks of trusting relationships with others and with yourself.
In her talk, Brené shares Charles Feltman’s “most beautiful definition of trust:”
“Trust is choosing to make something important to you vulnerable to the actions of someone else.”
Brené continues: “Feltman says the opposite is the essence of distrust: “What I’ve shared with you, that is important to me, is not safe with you.”
Basically, “When we trust, we are braving connection with someone. So what is trust?” Brené gives us the acronym BRAVING, which forms the anatomy of trust:
(“THERE IS NOT TRUST WITHOUT BOUNDARIES.”)
(“I CAN ONLY TRUST YOU IF YOU DO WHAT YOU SAY YOU’LL DO” AGAIN AND AGAIN.)
(“I CAN ONLY TRUST YOU IF WHEN YOU MAKE A MISTAKE, YOU’RE WILLING TO OWN IT, APOLOGIZE FOR IT AND MAKE AMENDS. I CAN ONLY TRUST YOU IF WHEN I MAKE A MISTAKE, I AM ALLOWED TO OWN IT, APOLOGIZE AND MAKE AMENDS.”)
(KEEPING A CONFIDENCE)
(BROWN’S DEFINITION OF INTEGRITY: “CHOOSING COURAGE OVER COMFORT, CHOOSING WHAT’S RIGHT OVER WHAT’S FUN, FAST OR EASY, AND PRACTICING YOUR VALUES NOT JUST PROFESSING YOUR VALUES.”)
(YOU AND I BOTH CAN STRUGGLE AND ASK FOR HELP)
(“OUR RELATIONSHIP IS ONLY A TRUSTING RELATIONSHIP IF YOU CAN ASSUME THE MOST GENEROUS THING ABOUT MY WORDS, INTENTIONS AND BEHAVIORS. AND THEN CHECK IN WITH ME.”)
Self-Care Houston, Episode 8: Shannon McLain joins Jennifer in a conversation about sleep and intentional practices that can improve sleep. Shannon is a mind-body medicine practitioner and certified health and wellness coach at The Center for Intentional Healing. Subscribe in iTunes.
Resources from this episode:
Self-Care Houston, Episode 7: Elizabeth Haberer joins Jennifer in a conversation about Thrive Trauma Informed Yoga. Trauma Informed Yoga can increase connection with the breath, enabling the brain to become less aroused, and relaxation to begin. A yoga practice partners beautifully with specialized trauma therapies such as EMDR, Emotional Dysregulation, Compassion Focused, etc. Elizabeth Haberer is an LCSW, Psychotherapist, and a yoga instructor. Subscribe in iTunes.
Resources from Episode:
- Elizabeth Haberer’s Thrive Trauma Informed Yoga Classes
- How Yoga Helps Survivors of Trauma
- The Role of Yoga in Healing Trauma
- Krista Tippet’s interview with Bessel van der Kolk about how bodywork like yoga or eye movement therapy can restore a sense of goodness and safety.
- Alternate Nostril Breathing
Self-Care Houston, Episode 5: Virgil Fry joins Jennifer in a conversation about the needs and challenges of self-care for caregivers. Virgil is the Executive Director at Lifeline Chaplaincy. Subscribe in iTunes.
Resources for Caregivers
- Lifeline Chaplaincy
- Compassionate Touch Ministry
- Virgil Fry, Disrupted: Finding God in Illness and Loss, 2007
- Virgil Fry, Rekindled: Warmed by the Fires of Hope, 2007
- Atul Gawande, Being Mortal: Medicine and What Matters in the End, 2015
- Frontline Episode: Atul Gawande, Being Mortal
- Caregiver Stress and Burnout: Tips for Regaining Your Energy, Optimism, and Hope
- Minimum Self-Care Requirements, By Jennifer Louden
Self-Care Houston, Episode 4: Chau Nguyen joins Jennifer in a conversation about abusive relationships, important resources and self-care. Chau is a social worker and the chief marketing officer at Houston Area Womens Center. Subscribe in iTunes.
Resources from Podcast:
- Domestic Violence Hotline: 713-528-2121
- Rape Crisis Hotline: 713-528-7273
- Houston Area Women’s Center
- Emotionally Destructive Relationship Quiz, by Leslie Vernick
- Leslie Vernick’s resources and videos for empowering survivors
- Private Online Support Group with Trained Advocates
- More Resources
I am thrilled to have another contribution as part of the conversation going on in the Kindness Community, A Word Imagined, from Diana Walla, a seasoned marriage and family therapist, recently relocated in Austin, Texas. She discusses the opportunity for us to look for the potential gifts in disorienting experiences. She explores the opportunity to sift through the struggle to learn what is most important and meaningful both individually and collectively. Thank you, Diana, for your hopeful insights:
We live in uncertain times. Long-held traditions and definitions of decency are under attack from all sides. Families and friends are divided along political and religious lines, and we seem to have forgotten our way back to one another.
It is uncomfortable, to be sure. We humans would like life to be served up in predictable nuggets, thank you very much. The unprecedented uncertainty of these times keeps us awake at night, creates anxiety, and encourages us to circle the wagons and protect everything we can from everything and everyone we fear, whether that fear is based in reality, or is just a product of incorrect information that leapfrogs across the internet and onto our social media feeds.
The truth is, our attempts at protection during this uncertain, messy time might just rob us of the opportunity to be our best selves. Throughout history, spiritual mothers and fathers of major faith traditions have observed the potential for personal or spiritual growth in dark or uncertain times. It far outstrips the level of growth that occurs when times are good or smooth.
Theologian, author and preacher Barbara Brown Taylor sums it up:
“We are all so busy constructing zones of safety that keep breaking down, that we hardly notice where all the suffering is coming from. We keep thinking that the problem is out there, in the things that scare us: dark nights, dark thoughts, dark guests, dark emotions. If we could just defend ourselves better against those things, we think, then surely we would feel more solid and secure. But of course we are wrong about that, as experience proves again and again. The real problem has far less to do with what is really out there than it does with our resistance to finding out what is really out there. The suffering comes from our own reluctance to learn to walk in the dark.” ~From Learning to Walk in the Dark
As difficult as it is, we have an opportunity to look not to the “other” in fear, but within ourselves in courage and curiosity. We could wonder what opportunities will present themselves, opportunities for our own growth. Would we ask for this tough time? Surely that would be masochistic. But since it is upon us, we can look for the chance to grow, to push beyond what is comfortable, to reach out to others, to create peace and show mercy and kindness.
As cliché as it sounds, these are the times in life that define us, individually and as a culture. It is time to dig deep, to practice mercy, which writer Anne Lamott defines as “radical kindness.” Kindness shown in difficult times packs a powerful effect. Love that reaches beyond fear is muscular and strong. People do not forget what others do for them, especially when the kindness comes at some cost. Perhaps that cost is a stepping beyond what is most comfortable, a willingness to find the gifts of personal and spiritual growth seeded in these strange and uncertain days.
Join Our Kindness Community:
We can all share great ideas on how to build more positivity into our society. Join the conversation on our public Facebook group, A Word Imagined, to share ideas.