Anxiety and Panic

Anxiety and Shame Resilience

 

Jennifer Christian Anxiety

Self-Care Houston, Episode 11: In this solo podcast, Jennifer Christian continues her discussion about anxiety from Episode 10, Anxiety Cycle. Jennifer discusses how building emotional regulation muscles and practicing shame resilience add to the self-care toolbox. Subscribe in iTunes.

Paul Gilbert Emotional Regulation

yerkses dodson curve
Yerkses Dodson Curve

Resources from this Episode:

Anxiety Cycle

Jennifer Christian Anxiety Cycle

Self-Care Houston, Episode 10: In this solo podcast, Jennifer Christian shares her journey with anxiety/panic attacks. Jennifer talks about where anxiety comes from and how we get caught in anxiety cycles. Subscribe in iTunes.

Jennifer Christian AnxietyResources from this Episode:

 

 

Thrive Trauma Informed Yoga

Elizabeth Haberer Thrive Trauma Informed Yoga

Self-Care Houston, Episode 7: Elizabeth Haberer joins Jennifer in a conversation about Thrive Trauma Informed Yoga. Trauma Informed Yoga can increase connection with the breath, enabling the brain to become less aroused, and relaxation to begin. A yoga practice partners beautifully with specialized trauma therapies such as EMDR, Emotional Dysregulation, Compassion Focused, etc. Elizabeth Haberer is an LCSW, Psychotherapist, and a yoga instructor. Subscribe in iTunes.

Resources from Episode:

Lion’s Breath

 

Creating Balance to Deal with Stress

Stressed
Photo by Mike Wilson

I hear more and more people talking about stress. Increased feelings of stress. I hear it on Facebook, emails from friends and family, even in everyday conversations. I spoke recently on the topic of self-compassion and stress-management at a major corporation in Houston. After I finished, I was amazed at the number of women that came to talk with me about their own struggle with stress and anxiety. The number of personal stories validated the stress in our society and the feeling of being overwhelmed as we attempt to manage too many expectations.

Most people experience an abundance of stress. The election and approaching holidays add an extra layer of stress and worry. The stressors are not going away, but we can use helpful tools to take extra care of our relationships and ourselves. 

3 Types of Stress

Stressed
Photo by Elijah Henderson

Before we talk about balancing stress, it is helpful to understand how stress functions in our daily life. In simple terms, we face three types of stress: balanced, acute, and chronic. Whenever I talk about types of stress, I like to use the example of a zebra.

  • Balanced Stress: When a zebra is lion-free, he is in a balanced state. A balanced state is the ability to relax and also be ready for threat when stress is present. The zebra can relax, eat juicy nutrient grass, enjoy his zebra companions, and play with his zebra kids and wife. Balanced stress is like getting the temperature just right on a thermostat.
  • Acute Stress: When a zebra senses a nearby lion, everything centers on the threat of the lion. Stress chemicals and hormones release to focus all energy toward reacting to the lion. All internal systems shut down to focus energy on escape. The zebra will not sleep, digest, enjoy intimacy, or relax until the threat has been averted. When the lion leaves, the zebra’s body readjusts to a normal, balanced state. Eating, intimacy, relaxation, and play resume.
  • Chronic Stress: In the zebra world, chronic stress does not exist. Chronic stress would be similar to the experience of a lion stalking the zebra 24-7. This chronic stress negatively impacts the zebra’s digestive system, sleep, intimacy, and leads to chronic fatigue. Imagine driving a car continuously even when the temperature gauge shows the car overheating. Keep driving, and the car will break down.
Stressed
Photo by Corentin Marzin

What does a zebra have to do with me?

The human body’s threat system is much like a zebra’s threat system, except for some important factors that maintain chronic stress and make it difficult to rebalance:

  • The stressors at work, home, and in our society do not go away.
  • We have the ability to replay past mistakes or rehearse worry about future threats.
  • We can be harsh with ourselves in our own minds. Some of us talk to ourselves in a way that we would never talk to a loved one. Negative self-talk is like having a lion in our heads 24-7.

How does chronic stress impact our bodies?

When we are in a state of constant stress, our bodies continually stay in threat mode. Like the zebra, all of our internal systems are diverted to face the threat. We keep driving our bodies even though the temperature gauge is redlining. Unaddressed chronic stress impacts our digestive system, our ability to sleep, intimacy, our ability to think clearly, as well as our joy in daily life.

Adjust the thermostat

Stressed
Photo by Alexa Wirth

The first step in compassionate stress management is to take a moment to notice. Where is my internal temperature gauge right now?

  • Exhausted
  • Issues with digestion
  • Anxious
  • Loneliness
  • Relationship difficulties
  • Sleep difficulties

We can feel so rushed that we may not notice what is happening in our own bodies. Can we give ourselves permission to pause at least a couple of times during the day and check in? Allowing ourselves to notice may be challenging. The stressors can seem too big. For instance, what if I feel torn between my work and my responsibilities at home? What if my marriage is struggling? These issues take time to explore. Reaching out to a counselor can offer much needed support to take a close look at some tough areas. The counseling process organically creates options for moving forward and reducing stress.

The second step is to respond with care. What do I need? Explore different tools and see what brings some needed stress relief.

Resources for Stress Relief:

Emotional Freedom Tapping

Emotional Freedom Tapping

Emotional Freedom Tapping, or EFT, is very easy to learn, and will help you:

  • Alleviate Negative Emotions
  • Reduce Food Cravings
  • Reduce or Eliminate Pain
  • And Implement Positive Goals

Emotional Freedom Tapping, or EFT, is a form of psychological acupressure, based on the same energy meridians used in traditional acupuncture.

Simply tapping with the fingertips on the head and chest inputs kinetic energy onto specific points while you think about your specific problem – whether it is a traumatic event, an addiction, pain, or anxiety. Tapping is paired with voicing a positive affirmation: “Even though I am ______________, I accept myself.” This combination of tapping the energy meridians and voicing positive affirmations works to clear emotional blocks and restore your mind and body’s balance.

 

Shame Resilience

Shame ResilienceShame is an intensely painful experience that impacts our sense of self and our relationships. Shame is the experience that there is something deeply wrong with me and there is no way to fix it.

When triggered, we feel exposed and experience painful emotional and physical symptoms:

  • Increased body temperature – a warm flush or even a “hot flash”
  • Nausea
  • Heaviness in the chest – perhaps to the point of feeling anxious and panicky
  • Poor eye-contact and hesitant speech patterns
  • Body minimizing posture – trying to hide shape of body or look invisible
  • Low energy levels – work hard to excel and feel exhausted most of the time

Shame Resilience researcher, Brené Brown, has studied the impact of shame for more than a decade. In her TED Talks, “The Power of Vulnerability” and “Listening to Shame,” she shares how to create resilience that move us through the experience of shame toward deeper connection and “whole-hearted” living.

In the clip below from “Oprah’s Lifeclass,” Brown says people who have “high levels of shame resilience” — meaning they can acknowledge and move through shame — have a few things in common. We can follow their lead by taking these three steps:

  • Talk to yourself like you talk to someone you love. “I would say to myself, ‘God, you’re so stupid, Brene,’” Brown says. “I would never talk to my kids that way.”
  • Reach out to someone you trust.
  • Tell your story. “Shame cannot survive being spoken,” Brown says.

Check out Brené Brown’s TED Talks by clicking here: Brené Brown’s TED talks

Sleep Your Anxiety Away

Becky Hein‘s recent article, Sleep Your Anxiety Away, Part I: You’ve Tried the Rest, Now Get Some Rest, discusses the impact of sleep deprivation on anxiety. If anxiety is a challenge, improving sleep is an excellent place to begin the focus of your efforts. She includes the latest research and helpful tools to improve your sleep habits as well as your mood. According to the article, “Getting adequate, quality sleep is extremely important for emotional regulation and processing. Fortunately, it is relatively easy to make changes in this area.”

To learn more, check out Sleep Your Anxiety Away, Part I: You’ve Tried the Rest, Now Get Some Rest.

Sleep Your Anxiety Away

Lightstream Meditation

The light stream is a relaxation meditation used to calm distressing sensations in the body. It is also a body scan that allows you to be compassionate and mindful of what you are experiencing and feeling in this present moment. This is an adaptation of Francine Shapiro’s original Light Stream.

Advent Inspired Loving Kindness Centering Prayer

A loving kindness prayer uses words and images to evoke feelings of loving kindness toward oneself and others. According to the article, “18 Science-Based Reasons to Try Loving Kindness Meditation Today,” a consistent practice of a Loving Kindness meditation can decrease symptoms of PTSD, improve wellbeing, and bolster the immune system.

The following Loving-Kindness meditation is inspired by the virtues celebrated during the weeks of Advent: Hope, Peace, Joy, and Love. This form of a prayer focuses on God’s loving kindness toward us and how we then become a vessel of His love toward others.

7 Powerful Ways Gratitude will Change Your Life

“Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.” Melody Beattie

I have so many reasons to be thankful:

  • My husband and I sipped coffee together before we started our day.
  • I enjoyed a long walk by myself at Memorial Park.
  • Our teenagers have found their groove at school and are enjoying soccer pre-season.
  • I am currently savoring a bite of dark chocolate as I type.
Gratitude
Photo by Cecil Vedemil

In 2012, I decided to incorporate an intentional habit that did not depend upon my mood or daily circumstances. I started a gratitude project and began experiencing the powerful benefits of an active practice. My husband and I have both been amazed at the positive impact a gratitude habit has had on our marriage and other relationships over the past three years.

I can tell you from personal experience that gratitude will change your life. The following list, compiled from a growing body of research, describes the powerful impact an active gratitude practice can have on your health and relationships.

Seven Ways Gratitude Will Change Your Life

  1. Gratitude boosts health and wellness: “ “Grateful people take better care of themselves and engage in more protective health behaviors like regular exercise, a healthy diet, and regular physical examinations. Grateful people also tend to be more optimistic… studies link optimism to better immune function.” (Elizabeth Heubeck, Boost Your Health With a Dose of Gratitude)
  1. Gratitude protects against depression: “Gratitude supports the neurochemistry of well-being, and protects against depression. It builds resilience, so we get less rattled by events and bounce back faster. And gratitude turns us toward others as we appreciate the people we care about.” (Rick Hanson, What Are the Health Benefits to Thankfulness?)
  1. Gratitude increases happiness: “In positive psychology research, gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness. Gratitude helps people feel more positive emotions, relish good experiences, improve their health, deal with adversity, and build strong relationships.” (Harvard Health Publications)
  1. Gratitude can help you through hard times: “Expressing gratefulness during personal adversity like loss or chronic illness – as hard as that might be – can help you adjust, move on, and perhaps begin anew. Although it may be challenging to celebrate your blessings at moments when they seem least apparent to you, it may be the most important thing that you can do.” (Sonjia Lyubomirsky, Eight Ways Gratitude Boosts Happiness)
  1. Gratitude increases satisfaction and longevity of relationships: “It starts within our own self. When we consciously foster feelings of appreciation for our loved ones—whether by doing a gratitude mediation about them every morning or by deliberately focusing on specific things we love about them—our relationship improves.” (Cristine Carter, A Surprisingly Simple Way to Feel Madly in Love)
  1. Gratitude increases satisfaction of parenting: “I am happy and proud to say that my relationship with my teenager is better than ever! Now he seeks me out to tell with me stories and jokes. He listens to me intently when I give him guidance. I can’t tell you how much this simple practice has changed our relationship. In retrospect, while teaching my family about this principal it also affected me positively. I noticed how my attitude towards him changed and softened because I started seeing him through a gratitude lens.” (Debbie Lyn Toomey, Gratitude Tip for Positive Parenting)
  1. Gratitude increases self worth: “Grateful people have a higher sense of self-worth. I think that’s because when you’re grateful, you have the sense that someone else is looking out for you—someone else has provided for your well-being, or you notice a network of relationships, past and present, of people who are responsible for helping you get to where you are right now.” (Robert Emmons, Why Gratitude Is Good)

Create Your Own Gratitude Practice

  • Start a gratitude journal. Write down three items each day that make you grateful.
  • Share gratitude at the dinner table. My family shares “Highs and Lows” every night during our evening meal to stay connected through the week. If not with your family members, pick a friend and share a high point and low point each day.
  • Say “Thank You” often: Look for ways to express gratitude to those who cross your path every day. Express thanks at the grocery story, gym, at home, or just about anywhere.

Jennifer Christian CounselingJennifer Christian, M.A., LPC